"They say you should walk softly and carry a big stick. I believe in walking swiftly and carrying a stick carved with ancient runes."
"Kids, stay in school, don't do drugs, don't twitter about going to the bathroom, floss, go to bed on time, stay away from saturated fats, try not to go over your cell phone minutes, and, most important of all, never cross the streams."
Everyone loved Erica's new "growing a torso out of my body" party trick.
Willy Northpole and company jump up to entertain the crowd.
"Alright everyone. You get THREE wishes. What will they be?"
"I don't know why everyone wishes for a pony, but now you got TWO wishes left. Well, and your pony. Don't let that thing trample anyone."
"I don't know about you, but I would have wished for some money, or maybe jewels, a car, a jet. Maybe a really nice hat."
Willy (on right): And don't give me none of this "world peace" stuff. That never works in the movies.
Guy: You tell em Willy! Down with world peace!
"You're a cynical bunch. How bout individual happiness?"
"Ok. Individual happiness and a cheeseburger. That only count as one? They're similar."
The crowd volunteers their wishes. Sadly, half of them were to have someone lift them up so they could more readily reach the restrooms.
"Wait wait. Slow down. Let's get back to what we're here for - talking about the global economic crisis. In rap."